Today is Day #4 of the …blah blah blah, you know what I’m talking about. I’m supposed to analyze a top blog in my niche. My niche? I don’t have no stinkin’ niche! I’ve been searching around for some thirty-something blogs, and I’m finding that I don’t have a lot in common with a lot of the writers – I don’t own a home, I’m not a Mommy, etc. Hell, I’m not even married yet. Though I was engaged once, many many moons ago. But that’s another story for another post.
Where are the blogs for the thirty-somethings who fail at life? I can’t be the ONLY one, can I?
So I’ve looked at some twenty-something blogs, and perhaps I have a little bit more in common with some of them. I think I’ll stop searching there, because really, if I have even MORE in common with teenaged Miley Montana fans, then I’ve got PROBLEMS.
I’ve always been a late bloomer. When I blogged back in the day, in my twenty-something years, I was very emo. I wrote heart-on-my-sleeve posts, and was very open about my various issues – depression and other emotional/mental problems, relationships, etc. I even wrote angsty poetry. And people flocked to it. I had a lot of regular readers, was top ranked on a site that, sadly, no longer exists (Clix/diarist.net).
But I’m just not in that place anymore. Oh, I’ve still got issues and problems, but for the most part, I’m happy. I have a wonderful boyfriend, my job is good, my relationship with my family is better than it has been in a while…all that good stuff. With that happiness, though, comes the loss of a muse, it seems.
And it’s damn frustrating.
I don’t write for profit – I just write to get it out. I write to connect with people. So far, I’m feeling like my latest attempt to do this is an epic fail. Granted, I’ve only had this new blog for what, a week? But I’ve had my twitter for a few years, and started really getting back into it a few months ago. The 31DBBB has given me a bunch of new followers, but do they really give a crap about what I’m tweeting? I haven’t followed many of them back, because a lot of them appear to be social media/blog marketing gurus who probably just want me to pay them to help increase my SEO, whatever that is, or design a layout for my page, or become my life coach because, you know, I’M A THIRTY-SOMETHING WHO FAILS AT LIFE. So, I’m picky about my refollowing. No offense, folks. 🙂
What I want is for people to see me and think that maybe I’m someone worth listening to (reading, whatever). I want people to say, “Wow, Mer, you’re a chubby, weird, thirty-something with more issues than you can shake a stick at. You’re struggling to get by, but you seem nice. You’re funny sometimes. You like Coors Light and karaoke. I think I want to keep you.”
Do I sound needy or WHAT? Well, maybe that’s because I am. I’ve been struggling for acceptance and love since pretty much the womb.
All in good time, I suppose. Rome wasn’t built in a day, as the saying goes. And neither will my massive blogging empire, I guess.
Meanwhile, tonight I’ll be indulging in two of the things that I love – Coors Light and karaoke.