One of my neighbors in my complex just came by with a flyer that he typed up.  There was an attempted break in at his place.  And apparently, a complex down the block had attempted break-ins at 3 of their apartments.  TODAY.  There’s apparently a suspect (or suspects?  They think it might be a couple), lurking around the ‘hood, I guess.

This, in addition to the break in next door to me a few months back, has me thoroughly freaked out.  Even though these break-in attempts happened during the day, supposedly, I’m still freaked out.  Eric works 2 jobs, and hence, ergo, I am home alone…ALOT.  Our place is pretty much empty during the days (except weekends), and then I’m usually on my own from whenever I get home (530 if I’m not walking, 7 if I am), until Eric gets home (which can be between 10pm and 3am, depending on his shift.

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

I’m not completely naive; I know that I live in a city, and that cities have crime.  But the reason we moved to the neighborhood that I live in now (besides being super close to our favorite bar and where a lot of our friends live), is because it seemed relatively safe.  Community.  A nice mix of folks.  Some young, some old, some families. 

A few months ago, there was also a shooting at a store a few blocks from here.  I guess this ‘hood ain’t so great after all. 

I’m a small town girl.  Lived a relatively sheltered life.  Maybe this is no big deal to people who are more used to it, but I’m unbelievably freaked out right now.  I’m scared to go to sleep.  I had just gotten used to being able to turn of my bedroom light to sleep, or sleep without the TV on.   Stupid things that I do to make the house look “awake”.

Now I’m back at square one again.  

We’ve only been here about 7 months.  I don’t WANT to move again.  I can’t afford to move again.

I’m just fucking freaked out right now.