Tales from the Bar (this could be a series)

Just as a quick update: I just have a Sinus Infection.  My car is fixed ($700 later).  Blee-blah.

But I figured maybe I’d try and inject a little comedy in here.  Real-life comedy.  I have a bunch of “Meredith Stories” (as in, Good Lord, that could only happen to YOU) collected over the years.  Some are blurry due to time passed by and, you know, beer.  But the fact of the matter is, shit happens to me at the bar.  Not necessarily BAD shit, just…weird.  I touched briefly upon one of these incidents recently.  That one wasn’t as comical. 

I figured I’d go back into the archives.  This happened, maybe a year and a half, 2 years ago.  Back when the Kickballers were taking over the bar on Thursday nights. There are some leagues here in San Diego, and after their games on Thursdays, they’d come into the bar, drink heavily and sing karaoke.  The bar would smell like sweat, understandibly.

So this one night, I’m out on the back patio, and one of the Kickballers comes up to me and says, “Ay!  You look like one-ah-dem Kardashian sisters!”

My immediate thought is, Well, besides Kim’s big-ol-booty, I don’t see any resemblance AT ALL.

I have no idea at this point whether he is saying this as a compliment or an insult.  So I say to the guy, “Um, thanks?” 

I’d been leaning against one of the tables on the patio at this point, and he came up close to me, one arm on either side of me on the table.  A little close for comfort, but I wasn’t going to freak out, yet.  We weren’t alone on the patio, so there wasn’t much cause for alarm, besides this guy just being a little drunk and kinda weird.

He says, “Yeah, we should make out…”

I said, “I don’t think my boyfriend would appreciate that.”

*insert nervous/awkward giggle*

His response: “I don’t think MINE would either!”

*insert drunken cackling laughter*

I gave him an odd look, and got ready to squirm my way around him to make my escape.

He proceeded to BITE MY FACE. 


He didn’t break the skin or take a chomp out of my face or anything, but he sort of…nibbled?…on the apples of my cheeks.

At that point, I said, “Wow, gotta go!”  and broke away from him and headed inside.

A little weird.  At no point did I feel threatened or afraid or anything like that.  Like I said, there were plenty of people around, and, quite honestly, I could’ve probably taken him if I had to.  My thought process the whole time was along the lines of REALLY?  Is this happening?  This is WEIRD.  Some people are just inappropriate and don’t know their boundaries.

I’ve never seen the guy since.  Not a regular, as far as I know.  I don’t remember ever seeing him besides kickball nights.  Luckily, I am a regular, and know people who have my back if need be.

Mostly I just think it’s comical.  Kind of a Who SAYS/DOES that? sort of thing.

About meredithelaine

forty-something. jersey girl in texas via california.
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9 Responses to Tales from the Bar (this could be a series)

  1. sonyabegonya says:


    Everyone knows that SONYA is the only one allowed to bite Meredith.


  2. Jeph says:

    One time a friend’s baby bit my ear while I was hugging it. I say it because this beast was part demon. We had to poor lemonade on it to make it let go. Cuz, you know, tugging and screaming didn’t seem to get the point across. Now I just pat them on the head. Much safer.

  3. Feather Star says:

    I like where this is going. In relation to the “series”, not the face mauling. Yeah I remember when this happened. The kickballers were a strange bunch weren’t they. **Shudder**

    • meredithelaine says:

      Feather – I think it’ll be a fun series. I have enough stories, from both San Diego and before, to last me a while…

      Maybe I should worry about that?

  4. Jessica says:

    I’d be completel weirded out by that…maybe it’s just me…but there are certain places that just aren’t…nibble-able…


  5. Pingback: Tales from the Bar #2 « I’d rather be elsewhere, most likely

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