Tales from the Bar (I have no idea what number this is…)

For once, this installment of Tales from the Bar does not have to do with being hit on, groped or any other such events.  Which, in some sorta sick, twisted way, almost makes me sad.  I mean, c’mon!  I like when people think I’m pretty/funny/talented/whatever and want to appreciate that…even if it is in more than slightly fucked up ways.

Apparently, this past Friday was Drunk and Clumsy Night at the bar.  Early on, a guy (a random) was dancing with this girl.  He lost his grip or SOMETHING…and she fell backwards, into my friend, and then crashed into the pool table.

A few hours later, a (different, still random) drunk guy knocked backwards into me.  I fell backwards into this giant metal floor fan (it gets hot in that bar!).  The fan is probably a couple feet in diameter, just to give you an idea of how giant it is.  So I fell backwards over the fan and then SPLAT! CRASH!  Down on the floor I go.

I was more startled and rattled than anything else, so at that point, I decided to leave the bar.

And now, a few days later, the aftermath of my tumble is in full bloom.  Warning for awkward angles and bad lighting ahead:

This first photo is of the side of my right thigh.  Hard to tell, I know.  Just looks like a big ol’ blob of flesh to me.  Also, the picture doesn’t do the bruises justice.  They’re darker and purpley-er.  One is actually raised.  Like a bump.  SEXY.

This photo is of the side/back of my right forearm.  If that makes any sense.  This is the same arm that was bothering me last week due to carpal tunnel.  AWESOME, right?  This photo is actually pretty accurate – these bruises are more brownish.

And there you have it – the latest tale of adventure and shenanigans at the bar.

About meredithelaine

forty-something. jersey girl in texas via california.
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