I hate working out. HATE.

This is not a picture of someone who enjoys moving around.

If you have found worky-outy, moving around things that you enjoy doing, then god bless ya.  Because I hate it with fire and venom.  My favorite kind of moving around is rolling over in bed and falling back asleep.

Let’s be honest:  I am a lazy-ass, fat bitch.  I am trying DESPERATELY to change that, but I am not enjoying it.  For a number of reasons.

PAIN: Due to a variety of injuries in my past and my general clumsiness, I’m in pain a LOT.  I have jacked up knees, weak ankles, and a herniated disc in my back.  So during any given workout, I’m in some sort of pain.  I walked for an hour around my neighborhood this afternoon and before I even left, I had pain shooting through my lower back.  Walking for an hour did NOT help this situation at all.  Spasms galore, YAY!

And I know that all the excess weight on me is not good for my joints and bones, but it’s really frustrating when the things you’re doing to try to rectify that situation cause you more of the pain you’re trying to get rid of.

VANITY: I am paranoid.  I’m convinced that as I’m taking a walk around the neighborhood, everyone else who is out and about is thinking, “HAHAHA.  Look at that slob trying to work out.”  Also, I sure as hell know I’m no beauty queen when I work out.  I look ridiculous.  And cranky (see above picture as a reference point). For these reasons, I try to stay indoors when I work out as much as possible.

SEE ALSO – ICKYNESS: Also, I’m a sweaty, sweaty girl.  I HATE BEING SWEATY.  But fact of the matter is that I can break out in a sweat walking over to the food court across the street from my office.  So yes, I usually drive across the street.  I honestly don’t think that candidates walking into our office really want to deal with a sweaty, greasy, smelly person when they come in.  I’m just trying to help, people.

I hate the way sweat feels.  Ew.  I can’t explain it, but it just grosses me out.  The way it feels, the way it looks…just, ew.  I like to avoid that feeling as much as possible.  All I can keep thinking is “Icky, gross, smelly, ugly, please get me into a shower so I can fix myself please.”

GENERAL LAZINESS: There’s very few things that I would rather do than just sit on the couch or lay in bed.  Maybe watching a marathon of some crappy Reality TV show.  But honestly, for example, if you asked me to go on a hike with you, I’d say no.  First of all – being in nature is something I’m not a fan of.  Insects and animals that can eat me and rocks that I can trip over and injury myself even further…HAHA, no.  Plus the sweat and vanity issues I mentioned previously…no thank you.  Give me a couch and a TV and let me check Facebook 20 times an hour.

I think that part of this honestly ties into my depression and anxiety.  Hiding in my room and zoning out is a wonderful coping mechanism that I’ve relied on for years.  So is emotional/comfort eating, but that’s another post altogether.  It takes a lot to actually get me to go out and do things.  Both due to lack of motivation and just sheer terror, sometimes just going to the gas station to fill up my tank seems like an extremely daunting task.

The point of this long rant is that if I had my way, I’d be sitting on my ass all day, every day, shoveling Cheerios in my face while watching The Real Housewives of Wherever.  But I’m working on trying NOT to do that.  I only want to burn calories and lose some weight.  That’s the ONLY reason I do this.  This shit ain’t fun for me.

But I’m trying to do it anyway.  And hopefully, eventually, it’ll pay off.

About meredithelaine

forty-something. jersey girl in texas via california.
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2 Responses to I hate working out. HATE.

  1. Peter says:

    “Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I`d rather lie around. No contest. ” – Eric Clapton

    Puts you in good company, Mer.

  2. meredithelaine says:


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