Today I went through 3 huge, overflowing garbage bags of clothes that I’ve been holding on to about 4 years or so.   You know, the “I swear, someday, I’ll fit back into these” clothes.

I pared it down to less than 1 bag.  A lot of stuff got trashed, and I’ve got 2 big bags ready to donate.   I found 2 pairs of pants that actually fit again (yay for stretch courderoy!), some t-shirts and tank tops I can use for working out and/or sleeping in, and a bunch of jeans and skirts that I’m holding on to…just in case. OH, and I found my awesome black dress that I seriously thought I’d lost forever.

I’m kind of depressed about it.  Because despite all the progress I’ve made thus far, a lot of shit still doesn’t fit.  However, I’m not giving up.  The trashing of mass quantities of stuff isn’t so much a giving up on my goals, but more of a “Lord have mercy, I shouldn’t have even been wearing this color/cut/fabric when these things actually FIT.”

Still, I’m feeling very down about it all.  I feel accomplished that I got it done, but I can’t help feeling a little like a failure.  Just looking at clothes from when I was smaller…and the fact that every time I’ve gotten smaller, I haven’t been able to maintain it.  I get comfortable, complacent and LAZY.  You’d think I’d be over this cycle I’ve been going through since I was, oh…8?

No.  Time to get back on the horse, so to speak.  Time to get back to work.  And when all my hard work has paid off, I will continue to work hard to make sure the paid off STAYS OFF.  And I will hope that I have better fashion sense when the time comes for me to buy new clothes.

At least now there’s more room in the closet.