Written randomly, yesterday

if i spoke the truth

would you still love me

if i even knew what that truth was

would you abandon me


i am frightened of getting older

afraid of being a terrible mother:

unable to afford to keep a roof above

or allowance in the pocket

i just want to party ’till i die

wash down all the pain inside

convince someone out there i’m beautiful and worthy


i’m forever selfish

i don’t want to let go of “back in the day”

i want the out-of-sight and out-of-mind to still give a damn

someone to tell me i’m okay


i want to break down in the ways i’ve never let myself

About meredithelaine

forty-something. jersey girl in texas via california.
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