I am a CHAMP.

This week has been one of those weeks.  Weeks where the stress of work has just overtaken me.  I am only one person, and yet this week it was if I was 2 or 3.  Maybe 4.  Payroll and client gifts and cards and background checks and references and paperwork and…well, it’s been a lot.  This was one of the weeks when I get extra bitter when I’m left in the office to fend for myself while coworkers go to lunch and the gym.  2 hours a day vs. my 2 hours total for the whole week.

I’ve been a frazzled mess.  Caffeine to wake up, and booze or pills to sleep.  Not healthy, but it’s how I cope sometimes, I guess.  I ended up with choppy sleep, with odd dreams and nightmares of being raped.  Not peaceful, not restful, but not the worst sleep I’ve had in recent months.  Go figure.

But the weekend is here.  The company holiday party is tonight.  Maybe I’ll make out like a champ in the gift exchange again this year.  First year was a talking toilet paper holder – but one of my coworkers gave me his $300 iPhone gift card, because he already had one.  Last year, Eric got the Dirt Devil and ManGroomer (no lie), while I ended up with the $200Nordstrom gift card.  What happens, is that we have a price limit of about $20, but Management puts in some extra special pricey gifts, to make the White Elephant Gift Exchange a bit more fun.

I’ve already run a bunch of errands this morning.  I had to get MORE cellophane paper, because apparently 16 Scentsy burners as client gifts simply isn’t enough, and now I have a few more to wrap on Monday.  I bought a dress for the holiday party, because I just couldn’t bring myself to wear the same one as last year.  Which is stupid, but when in the midst of folks who have WAY more money than I do, I’m afraid they will remember my dress from last year and look down on me.

Apparently, I’m REALLY good at spending money that I shouldn’t be spending.  Seriously, I am a muthafuckin’ CHAMP at that shit.  $200 gone in less than 2 hours.  $100 of it may have been clothes for me (BLACK SHIRTS! MUST HAVE MORE OF THEM!)…but then $50 of it was gifts, and $50 was groceries and home crap.  So that’s…fair, sorta. Right?  It’s not like I spent ALL of it on ME.

Of course, this means that I’ll be living on SmartOnes and Chunky Soup for the foreseeable future, but that’s okay.

Oh wait, I’ll also be eating CREAM OF WHEAT.  I do not know how it took me 35 years on this earth to learn of the AWESOMENESS of Cream of Wheat.  This is all Eric’s doing – he brought it into the house, and oh, how I doubted him.  I was all, This shit ain’t creamy, and it ain’t wheaty.  What the hell is this crap anyway?!?!

I’m sorry, darling.  You were RIGHT.

Yes, I just told my fiance’ that he was right, and I was wrong.  This will probably be the last time that happens, though.

Anyway, back to Cream of Wheat.  I don’t know why I love this stuff so much.  In reality, it’s a beige bowl of mush.  But DAMN, it’s some tasty mush.  Apparently it comes in all sorts of flavors.  But I like my plain mush.  Actually, I like it with butter and salt. NOM.  Eric, I think prefers sugar, if I’m not mistaken.  Maybe cinnamon.  I know it was something on the sweeter side.  Maybe jelly?  I prefer…savory, I guess is the term, rather than sweet.

But anything goes with Cream of Wheat.  Cream of Wheat is a blank canvas.  You can have whatever you like with it.

Am I alone in my love of the Cream of Wheat?  What do YOU mix in your bowl of Cream of Wheat?

I am a such a wackadoodle.  A blog post primarily about Cream of Wheat?  WHAT?

Maybe I should go back to bed for a while.

About meredithelaine

forty-something. jersey girl in texas via california.
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3 Responses to I am a CHAMP.

  1. Larissa says:

    Um excuse me but how are you in my brain with that TI sh/t? 😀 *EVERY* time somebody says ‘you can have whatever you like’ it immediately kicks in.




    You know it. And now I’ll be sangin’* that for the rest of the day.

    *I totally didn’t use that terminology.

    • meredithelaine says:

      You can have whatever you liiiiiiiiiiike. 🙂 We sing that a lot in my house.

      ME: “Hey hon, what do you want for dinner?”

      ERIC: *T.I. dancing/handmotion* “Whatever you liiiiiiiike.”

      Or, we act out the scene from “Coming To America” where Prince Akeem meets his future wife, and he’s asking her all these questions about what she likes to do, likes to eat and she’s all, “Whatever you like…”

  2. Pingback: I am a CHAMP, Part 2. And in some cases, a chump. « I’d rather be elsewhere, most likely

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