Close call

As we get closer to the big day (seriously…like 3 days), the stress has piled on me infinitely.  Wedding planning stress, work stress, friend stress.   As a result, I was “that girl” who locked herself in her office yesterday and cried for a half hour.

Trying to keep the peace, keep my wedding in one piece, and keep my sanity is proving to be very difficult.  Yesterday was just a big hot buffet of BAD.  The cracks in my pseudo-happy facade are getting bigger and bigger.  I am losing focus on the most important thing right now, which is the fact that this week, I am marrying the love of my life.  I should be ECSTATIC right now.  Maybe a little frazzled, but mostly ecstatic.

Instead, I am a crying, shaking mess who is starting to dread what should be the happiest day of her life.

I had a dream last night:

I jumped off a building (or a cliff, I’m not certain) – very much like skydiving, I suppose.  I had a ton of bags (backpacks, suitcases) strapped to my back.  No parachute, as I recall.

I tried to take the bags off of myself  as I’m falling through the air.  Careening, hurtling, tons of weight on my back, just about to crash into the earth.

Right at the last second, I was able to get the baggage off and I landed on the ground gracefully like a cat.

Very telling, if you ask me.


About meredithelaine

forty-something. jersey girl in texas via california.
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3 Responses to Close call

  1. sarabellem says:

    Even if the wedding has some ups and downs the next thing you know you are going to be out of town on vacation with that love of your life. You will make it through this I swear!

    • meredithelaine says:

      HA! Eric said the same thing. Just a few days ago, he said, “Babe, if anything goes wrong at the wedding – at least we’ll be out of the country for a week!” HAHAHAHAHAH! Great minds… 🙂

  2. Erin Oleno says:

    Mer – this is totally normal. Most of us are completely insane beforehand but you just have to let things go as they will on the actual day (and this is coming from the girl who micromanaged her wedding down to the last minute detail and cried herself silly when the vegetable choices changed…haha). There may be a couple of hiccups here and there, but the main thing is you WILL get through it and hey, you may just have the time of your life! And then you and Eric get to go away and just…relax.

    Love you!

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