Long weekend

Long weekends are kinda blissful, aren’t they?  Lord knows I certainly needed it.

My work-related breakdowns have continued.  I am very tired.  But, as I’ve stated about 4 billion times, I can’t quit.  I can’t look for a new job.  Not that I’m rolling in the dough, but any job that I could take that would be less stressful, would pay at LEAST $5 per hour LESS than I make now.  Being as in debt as I am – that’s just not feasible.  So all I can do is try and hone some coping skills.

I have to make any appointment with my doctor later this month anyway, to get a check up, re-up my prescriptions and all that.  I may get a referral to see a therapist or a psych-doc again.  Maybe I need meds again.  Maybe I need talk therapy.

All I know is that I cannot go on with the tears brimming in my eyes, the tightness in my chest and the urge to punch people in the face.  It’s ridiculous.  I don’t like the way it’s affecting me, and my relationships with others.

I’m starting to get a migraine as I type this.  Just thinking about the stress is…stressful.

I’m getting consumed by feelings of doom, self-doubt and failure.

It’s going to be okay.  Eventually.  It’s just not, right now.




(I repeat myself a lot in this blog.  How annoying…)

About meredithelaine

forty-something. jersey girl in texas via california.
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