On the road again.

Eric has left for tour.  He and the rest of the boys of Moosejaw are off and running, touring Northern California, Oregon and Washington. Possibly Las Vegas too.  They’ll be back in a week.

I am equal parts super-stoked for them and pouty brat.  I miss my husband.  There are things that I’m used to.  The creak of the door as he comes in at 3am after his shift.  Kissing him goodbye when I leave for work in the morning.  The hum of the TV as he watches movies or played video games until all hours of the night.  Now I am missing that, and it sucks.

I function without him.  But I function much better with him.

Last night, Moosejaw did one last local show at Eleven before heading out on the road.  I was very on-edge.  I was nervous, excited for Eric and yet dreading his leaving me.  (I’m coming back, he says, with an affectionate roll of the eyes.)  So, ya know, Mama needed a beer.  Multiple beers.  I didn’t want to drive home drunk, so I cut myself off, bid the band bon voyage, and then…you guessed it, headed to Gilly’s.

Today, as a result, I’ve been feeling slightly less than awesome.  So tonight, I am staying in.  Watching Vh1’s Top 100 Videos of the ’00s, Pop-Up Video, and doing some word puzzles.  I love playing Words With Friends, so I figured I would get some books of word-find and easy crossword puzzles, and see if I enjoy it.  I kinda need a hobby.  Ever since I’ve been on Prozac and back in therapy, my brain is less stressed and frazzled.  So I’m BORED.  I’m bored when I don’t have anything to be stressed or depressed about!

I also did laundry tonight, and made something very similar to Sam the Cooking Guy’s Fish Stick Tacos.  I don’t have anything terribly pressing that I need to do tomorrow (chores/errand-wise), so I’ll hang out with friends and see what kind of trouble I get into.

I’ve been concerned about my time while Eric is gone, and how I’d spend it.  Eric and I have been apart before, the longest being for a month and a half when he was training for his Management position.  But this is the first time we’ve been apart since being married (I know, I’m so cheesy, it’s unreal) — so it’s very intense for me.  I was figuring it could go a number of ways.

  1. I could be super-productive: CHORES! ERRANDS! PROJECTS!  All the things!
  2. I could spend the entire week on a crazy bender, in a drunken haze.
  3. I could sit on the couch, moping and motionless.
It’s just about 24 hours into the tour, and so far, it’s looking like a combination of all three scenarios, actually. Eh, there are worse ways to deal, I suppose.
I should have picked up some chocolate on my way home from work today.  Or ice cream.  That would have made the night in perfectly complete.  I rarely eat sweets, but sometimes, it just seems right to do so.  Missing mah huzzzzband qualifies, right?  I mean, I’m already in my comfy clothes, make-up is off, and Snooki Slippers are on.  Maybe I’ll just eat some cereal or something.  Maybe I won’t eat anything else tonight.  I’m over my calorie goal for the day already.  I’m very much an emotional eater/binger, so it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility.
Like I said, I need a hobby.  Raiding the kitchen is not a hobby.
I also need to get back into the swing of working out.  It’s been very tough lately.  One of the major side effects of the Prozac is that I am just so damn tired and lethargic.  I’ve switched to taking it at night (as opposed to first thing in the morning), and that seems to be helping.  My therapist also suggested that because my brain is not as occupied with stress/depression – my brain is at a loss as to how to keep occupied.  This can sap both emotional and physical energy.  It actually makes a lot of sense.  So, that’s why I’m going to try and stimulate my brain with puzzles, which hopefully will stimulate my physical energy.  It’s worth a shot.  I mean, it’s not like anything BAD came come out of developing hobbies and working out.  Win-Win, really.
I caved, by the way.  Currently eating a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios.  *sigh*  Speaking of food, The Chew is a great show…with a painfully unfortunate name.  I DVRed it, just to give it a try, and I really enjoy it. It’s really funny how different Eric and I are.  Our DVR tells quite the story.  I now DVR The Chew and Wendy Williams, Sam the Cooking Guy, Jersey Shore, X-Factor and other various reality shows.  Eric actually DVRs shows with PLOT! And ACTING!  Stuff like Dexter, The Big C, Sons of Anarchy.  The only shows tend to watch together are cooking/food shows and game shows.
Whatever, it works.  I should probably wind down this blog post.  I’m a little tired, and a little mopey.  The guys are probably hitting the stage soon.  Antlers Up!!! \\\\m////
I miss you, baby.  I love you and I’ll see you in a week.

About meredithelaine

forty-something. jersey girl in texas via california.
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