I just keep binging. I’ve gained 5 pounds this week. I’m sad.  I hate being around people – or dread it – or just feel so damn uncomfortable.  But on the other hand, I hate being lonely.  All these conflicting feelings just cause me to eat and eat and eat.  Gross.  Not eating because I’m hungry, I’m eating because I somehow am seeking comfort from it. Or something.  I have no idea.  I have got to pull myself together.  This is absolutely disgusting.  I’m very tempted to purge, but I think that it would be very painful due to the combination of what I’ve eaten.

I feel so ill-at-ease.  And ill in the stomach, to be honest.  It’s so embarrassing. I wish I was better at restricting.  These days, I’m falling…nay, CAREENING, off of the Weight Watchers wagon.  I really need to get control back, regain focus, and get my ass back to the gym and to walking around the neighborhood.  These days, it’s been too hot/humid to do much of anything.  Just sitting makes me sweat. EW.

So now I’m just this overstuffed, bloated blob of sadness, anxiety, and shame.

And so it goes.