Well to recap,

I lost nearly 20 pounds this year, then proceeded to gain it all back.  I am an epic failure.  Back to the drawing board come Thursday, when my new Weight Watchers week begins.

I rang in the new year in my usual style, at my local hangout.  It was…okay.  I had fun, but not at blast.  I would have rather stayed home.

I don’t know.  Everything has gotten stale.  Boring. Stagnant.  I mean, I’m a creature of habit and all, but damn.  I get up. I go to work.  I eat (too much).  I (try to) sleep.

I’ve been up since 6am, despite having been out until nearly 2am.  I don’t remember the details of all my dreams.  But one of the dreams involved me auditioning for a musical based on the songs of Whitney Houston.  I didn’t get cast.  I woke up feeling subpar and exhausted.

I’ve been in a mood all day.  I made sauce, caramelized onions and a pasta dish.  I did laundry and dishes are currently in the dishwasher.  I haven’t gotten out of my pajamas all day.  I haven’t taken a shower.  I’ve been watching reruns of SVU.  I’ve gotten teary-eyed.  I’ve stared blankly into space.  PMS is nigh, so that doesn’t help.  I missed a few doses of my meds, so that definitely doesn’t help.

It’s not even 6pm.  I’m drained.

I’ve got some plans, some resolutions, if you will, for the new year.  I got an iPad, and so I’ve been downloading podcasts and online classes to watch/listen to while I workout.  To learn and enrich myself.  I want to try and do four 5Ks this year – starting off with ones where you can just walk, and graduating to being able to jog/run.  Get better at cooking.  Go out less. Save money. Blee-blah.

Right now, I’m not feeling very positive or motivated.  I’m lethargic and discouraged.

Happy New Year, or something.