Sorry (I ain’t sorry)…

WordPress informs me that it’s been over 2 years since my last post.  WordPress also saved my password for all this time.  Good thing, since I have no idea what it is.

Meanwhile, every other site is asking me to change/update/redo my password into some asdf145!*sQz bullshit.

Anyway, 2 years since my last post. Life got hectic.  Actually work got hectic.  Promotions and the addition of new responsibilities to the laundry list of things that I can/will/must do on a daily basis.  Life revolved around work.  Going to bed around the 7pm mark became the norm.  The dark closed in and the anxiety flew through the roof.  I don’t think words can accurately express how low I was.  How miserable.  Although, maybe words can, and I’m just so out of blogging/writing practice that the correct words escape me.

It’s been bad.  Really, really bad.  More and more meds added to the cocktail. Tried and failed attempts at talk therapy.

So I quit.  My job, that is.  I’m fortunate that my dad set up a (non-retirement) fund for me when I was BabyMer, and it’s just been sitting around, waiting.  To be used.  My guess is probably for a house, or for kids, ideally.  But that shit ain’t happening.  Not in this town, and not at my age, anyway.

I budgeted it out, and I’ve got several months before I HAVE to go back to work.  By that time, hopefully I’m fixed (as much as one can be fixed), and out of the hole. Right now I’m just trying to learn how to be Meredith again.  Not MeredithTheEmployee, but just me.  I don’t have hobbies, so I’m trying some out – coloring, reading, going for walks.  I kinda enjoy cooking, so I may work on that a bit.  And, of course, writing.

I have no idea who I am.  So I’m taking time to figure it out, I guess.  Or maybe I’m just going to be a lump on the couch, and get addicted to Days of our Lives.  I hope that’s not the case.  But I’m only 3 weeks into my life as an unemployed chick, so I’m trying not to put too much pressure on myself.  I don’t need to figure it out today.

About meredithelaine

forty-something. jersey girl in texas via california.
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